There’s a whirlwind of chaos running wild in my mind and I can’t settle down. Anxiety flows through my body from head to toes, creating a buzzing sensation and unwelcome energy I can’t release. I’m a prisoner in my own mind tortured by these thoughts and feelings of stress and worry.
I just keep moving, keep living and going through the motions. I’ve done extra cleaning, organizing and chores to mask my feelings. I’ve tried praying, reading the Bible, exercising, helping others and even eating sweets to feel better. Nothing helps.
I’m STUCK in the memories of my past, the chaos of my present and the worries of future circumstances. I feel confused and unable to be logical.
If I sound overwhelmed and desperate, it’s because I am. If my situation sounds dark and painful, it’s because it is. But wait! I know this place, I recognize these feelings and thoughts, and I’ve been here before. When I broke free last time, I didn’t think I’d ever have to deal with this again. I’m mad at myself, I’m ashamed and embarrassed. I thought I was better than this and I shouldn’t be here; AGAIN.
I’m a praying, Bible reading, worshiping and God fearing woman. So, why this bad place again? I want to ask God, “why me? Don’t you love me?”
But who am I to question God? I’m no better than anyone else that I’m exempt from trials and tribulations. As a matter of fact, the bible says, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)….. There is no doubt troubles will come; they will.
I know what to do. I need to spend my energy praying and seeking God. I have to stop feeling sorry for myself and focus on God and not my problems. I can do what’s right and what the word of God says no matter how I feel; even though it’s easier said than done. “For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13)
And finally, the revelation comes from God as I’m walking my dog down the street in an ordinary moment. Right in the middle of my mess, I’m praying, surrendering my all and asking God for help. And I hear Him say to me; “It’s in your mess and in the chaos you need to seek me. You can’t get yourself through this and do it alone. You can’t wait to seek and find me until you feel better and life is good again. You need me now; in the mess.”
It’s right now. No matter what’s going on, no matter how you feel, no matter the sin you just committed, no matter when the last time was you called upon God, prayed, opened your bible or went to church. No matter what; the time to seek God is NOW! “You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:13)
You may not feel better immediately and your situations may not change right away; but know for sure that God is working on your behalf and He’s on your side. “What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? "If God is for us, who can ever be against us?” (Romans 8:31)
Decrease my stress and anxiety as I focus on you and put you first in my life. I want to be awakened by your hope, power, spirit and love.
Open my eyes so I can see clearly the path to take and the ways in which I need to go. Your word says that, “The steps of the righteous are ordered by the Lord.” You have come to give us life and life in abundance. Your word says, “For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)………… God we are desperate for you.
We surrender and submit to you every area of our lives. Show us when we aren’t trusting you. Give us the courage, guidance, peace and strength to give you all of us. We know that apart from you we can do nothing. And we know that with you all things are possible. We are praying, asking, hoping and believing for mighty miracles in your name today and every day.
Bring power into our lives, healing, hope, deliverance, jobs, and restored relationships! And most important of all, draw us close to you and increase our faith! Give us a greater, bigger, better and deeper personal relationship with you! Amen!
“The father instantly cried out, "I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!" (Mark 9:24)
Passionately leading you closer to Jesus Christ. Helping you break through insecurity and doubt, encouraging you to live a life of freedom and healing. Motivating you to a deeper level of faith in Jesus Christ.