I have a confession to make; I’m a perfectionist who is a dreamer and an over-achiever. I live with an “all-or-nothing” mindset and I often take on more than I can handle. As a perfectionist, I’m not at all perfect. I live every day trying to bite my tongue and remember who I am in Christ. I’m often hard on myself and impatient while trying to make changes to better my character, thoughts, and actions. I live with worries, doing my best to entrust them to God in prayer, while at times I contradict my faith wavering in doubt. Thankfully, God knows my heart, intentions, and motives, and He gently reels me back into Him, reminding me that I am a work in progress.
After a rough meeting at work the other day, I was worrying about something rude that slipped from my mouth. I found it ironic I was simultaneously condemning myself over what I said, and also trying to make myself feel better by singing, "Nothing but the Blood of Jesus". In one aspect I was loathing in guilt, and the other part of me was singing away; “I am covered and forgiven by the blood of Jesus.” When I realized the struggle in my mind, I had to stop and choose my moment. Would I stay in conflict listening to condemnation and guilt; or accept forgiveness and live in freedom? I decided to accept forgiveness, admit I’m not perfect and move on, praying and planning to do better.
In my time of prayer, God encouraged me by reminding me I can live in constant freedom and forgiveness. His ways and thoughts are higher than mine, His love is deep and eternal, His favor is great, His mercies can’t be measured, His kindness is genuine and His strength is beyond comprehension. God reassured me that I am loved, adored, precious, created on purpose and with a purpose. I can shut out shame, lay down my pain, admit my sins and trust in Him. I don’t have to work excessively, over-exerting myself to prove anything to anyone. I already have the approval I need. “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” (Galatians 1:10)
And now my spirit can sing and freely worship God without condemnation. Oh precious is the blood. "What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the blood of Jesus. What can make me whole again? Nothing but the blood of Jesus. Oh, precious is the flow, that makes me white as snow, No other fount I know, nothing but the blood of Jesus.”
Sometimes all we need is a little encouragement to lift up our head, keep our focus on what matters, and increase our faith in God. Grace is the answer to overcoming perfectionism. But he said to me;
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)
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